Theater Gripes

Everyone who has spent any time doing theater--especially amateur theater--can point to experiences on stage that were frustrating, unsuccessful, or just plain unhappy. Without pointing to specific people or productions, here are some of mine:

1. The director who has "pet" performers. Nothing worse than being part of an ensemble and finding out the director will let certain cast members get away with almost anything on stage, but be an absolute martinet with everyone else.

2. The prima donna. Although the term originally applied to only female performers, there are plenty of male examples of the type...the actor who insists on special treatment or who wants to, essentially, direct him- or herself. These people are a pain to a director, but they're no fun for their fellow cast members, either.

3. Haphazard productions. Most of the time, it's the individual director who is responsible for this, but sometimes it's simply the way the particular theater operates. I've been in shows where the set wasn't completed (and I'm not talking about paint, I mean walls and doors) until opening night--and one in which elements of it changed between the first and second weekends. I've had directors who didn't let actors use props (not even temporary ones) until dress rehearsal.

4. Pre-casting. Yes, as a director, I often choose a show because I have ideas about who I know that might be a good choice for a leading role (there's nothing worse than trying to cast a show and discovering nobody in the available talent pool fits the bill). But, IMO, a director should never claim to be having "open auditions" for all roles, when he knows damned well he has already picked the actors for certain plum parts--and those actors might not even have to make the pretense of showing up to try out. There are exceptions--if the role calls for a specific skill (playing the violin, let's say), then there's nothing wrong with going to your fiddler actor buddy and saying, "Would you play this?" But then you have to say, in the audition notice, "The role of Victor the Violinist has already been cast."

Those are some of my bug-bears; what are yours?